Get it together J

Okay, so lately I have been kinda sorta getting into trouble at work....well, not trouble, but I have had a few sit-downs with the "higher-ups" concerning my "attitude" and manner in which I speak to people....................... NO I am not an ABW (Angry Black Woman) and in my defense, the main "person" doing the complaining has a very rude and condescending way of dealing with his subordinates....most people around here don't have the balls, excuse my language to address the issue with this person and my aforementioned attitude is purely in response to and is a mere reflex stemming from this mans condescension. It started out as jokes. But all of a sudden he's in his feelings, I guess he's tired of looking like a punk in front of his managerial buddies and getting joked about it...whatever.

The other day he expresses his concerns and thinks that I am flipit? And that my tone needs to be rethought before I speak etc etc... and I objected to all of his accusations and became rather defensive during our conversation.......but after it was over, I realized he was kind of right!! I have noticed that I have been on edge lately. And I'm pretty sure I know why..... for those of you who know me personally or speak to me regularly, you know that I have been "clean and sober" for nearly 7 months now. No, I have never done drugs and I am not a recovering alcoholic. Nor am I recovering from an addiction.... its just everyone has their "vice" and when I say I'm clean and sober, I'm referring to my vice(s) that I have given up or am trying to for the betterment and advancement of myself spiritually, emotionally and all the other words ending in -lly!

Anyway, I think I am experiencing some "withdrawal" symptoms, irritability being the main one. Now that I have actually noticed and recognized this fact, I must control it and or eliminate it. I can live without this vice for sure and not be a bitter young woman in the process. I'm good! So I ended up apologizing to the manager at work admitting my faults etc and vowing to try harder to control my temper/tone/attitude etc. even if he does not, because ultimately no matter what is going on in my personal life and no matter how someone else is behaving towards me be it right or wrong, I am responsible for how I react and how I treat them in turn. If I call myself trying to live as or be a good Christian example etc then I need to act and behave accordingly even in my attitude and dealing with people....yes, even the rude and unruly ones!! Its hard y'all, hard controlling this 'tude and hard letting go of this vice and being "clean and sober" LOL (Lord, help me control my attitude, my tone, my facial expressions, my mouth, and in my "sobriety"!)
What I mean by "clean and sober" ...
Clean = characterized by a fresh, wholesome quality; morally pure; innocent; upright; honorable; inoffensive in language or content; without obscenity; unsullied, chaste, virtuous

Sober = free from excess; habitually temperate; showing self-control; sane or rational; abstinent; reasonable, sound; self-restraint; dignified; not wild, visionary, or heated with passion; exercising cool, dispassionate reason;