July 12, 2006 1:35pm
Well, I really don't know where to begin... I mean I guess I should start by letting you know how sorry I am, I know its been a long time since we've sat down, face to face and shared some "real-talk", I know I haven't spent the quality time with you that we used to share, and all the things that made our relationship so real, so full, so interesting, so fun, so intimate. I mean, we share such a real connection, you are my best friend, my love, my world. I'm sorry that I have been neglecting you, taking you and your love for granted... you are the best thing that has ever happened to me, I mean I've known a lot of people, I've caught the interest/eye of a lot of men, but no matter how hard I tried, I could never manage to establish that fulfilling connection with any of them, you came along and were so different, so different than the rest, I caught more than your eye, more than your interest, more than your curiosity, I caught your heart. It was like you'd known me all my life.
It wasn't until you came along that I really discovered the love that I'd been searching for, you are so affectionate, so accepting, so gentle, yet so strong. And it seemed like no matter how much we disagreed, or how much I'd protest, and test the limits of your love, to see if it was really true, if you really loved me as much as you said you did, would you really be there like you said you would....you know, they all said those things too...I'm sorry for not trusting in you.
I wanted you to know, that I miss you so much. My heart aches for you, every since I walked out on you, I have had this nagging feeling, this void, like something, some part of me was missing, I knew all along it was you, I tried to ignore it, I tried to forget your voice, I tried to erase all my memories of you and the time we spent together, the fun we had. Every where I went and everything I did and saw reminded me of you. I tried to replace you with other things and people, to keep myself busy so I wouldn't think of you. But every day I think of you, every night I lie awake thinking about the conversations we had, you taught me so much, you inspired me, you encouraged me, you listened to me, you laughed at my corny jokes.
You understood me, in a way that no one, absolutely no one has. And even during times when I was at a loss for words, I didn't have to speak, it was like you knew my thoughts, how could I have walked away from someone who understood my silence... I think of the nights I lay in your arms, you caught my tears, my many many secret tears, I can remember feeling so secure there, feeling so safe, so loved, it was like your embrace erased my fears.
Lord, I know I've made horrible mistakes, I walked away from you, turned my back on you, I was unfaithful to you...I should have put you first. I should have trusted you, I should have given you all of me, instead I held back, I should have let go of my past, but yet there were some things I held on to that affected our relationship. My point is, I miss you....
Jesus, I miss you, I was a fool to have left your side, but one of the things I love about you is that no matter how much I mess up or how big of a mess I make of my life, you still love me....you even forgive me?! This time I thought I had gone too far, I had done too much, If others only knew the extent of my sin against you, they would never have forgiven me, I'm glad they're not you, If they knew about those thoughts, those actions, those things....they would not still love me or desire to be with me or around me...I am so glad they are not you! I love you Lord and I miss you in my life, I miss talking to you, and being with you, but most of all I miss pleasing you. You are my life and I honestly, truly, want to reflect you in all that I am, all that i say, and all that i do. I am nothing with out you.
I don't mean to trouble you Jesus, I just miss you, and I thought that you should know... Your daughter, friend, disciple
Well, I really don't know where to begin... I mean I guess I should start by letting you know how sorry I am, I know its been a long time since we've sat down, face to face and shared some "real-talk", I know I haven't spent the quality time with you that we used to share, and all the things that made our relationship so real, so full, so interesting, so fun, so intimate. I mean, we share such a real connection, you are my best friend, my love, my world. I'm sorry that I have been neglecting you, taking you and your love for granted... you are the best thing that has ever happened to me, I mean I've known a lot of people, I've caught the interest/eye of a lot of men, but no matter how hard I tried, I could never manage to establish that fulfilling connection with any of them, you came along and were so different, so different than the rest, I caught more than your eye, more than your interest, more than your curiosity, I caught your heart. It was like you'd known me all my life.
It wasn't until you came along that I really discovered the love that I'd been searching for, you are so affectionate, so accepting, so gentle, yet so strong. And it seemed like no matter how much we disagreed, or how much I'd protest, and test the limits of your love, to see if it was really true, if you really loved me as much as you said you did, would you really be there like you said you would....you know, they all said those things too...I'm sorry for not trusting in you.
I wanted you to know, that I miss you so much. My heart aches for you, every since I walked out on you, I have had this nagging feeling, this void, like something, some part of me was missing, I knew all along it was you, I tried to ignore it, I tried to forget your voice, I tried to erase all my memories of you and the time we spent together, the fun we had. Every where I went and everything I did and saw reminded me of you. I tried to replace you with other things and people, to keep myself busy so I wouldn't think of you. But every day I think of you, every night I lie awake thinking about the conversations we had, you taught me so much, you inspired me, you encouraged me, you listened to me, you laughed at my corny jokes.
You understood me, in a way that no one, absolutely no one has. And even during times when I was at a loss for words, I didn't have to speak, it was like you knew my thoughts, how could I have walked away from someone who understood my silence... I think of the nights I lay in your arms, you caught my tears, my many many secret tears, I can remember feeling so secure there, feeling so safe, so loved, it was like your embrace erased my fears.
Lord, I know I've made horrible mistakes, I walked away from you, turned my back on you, I was unfaithful to you...I should have put you first. I should have trusted you, I should have given you all of me, instead I held back, I should have let go of my past, but yet there were some things I held on to that affected our relationship. My point is, I miss you....
Jesus, I miss you, I was a fool to have left your side, but one of the things I love about you is that no matter how much I mess up or how big of a mess I make of my life, you still love me....you even forgive me?! This time I thought I had gone too far, I had done too much, If others only knew the extent of my sin against you, they would never have forgiven me, I'm glad they're not you, If they knew about those thoughts, those actions, those things....they would not still love me or desire to be with me or around me...I am so glad they are not you! I love you Lord and I miss you in my life, I miss talking to you, and being with you, but most of all I miss pleasing you. You are my life and I honestly, truly, want to reflect you in all that I am, all that i say, and all that i do. I am nothing with out you.
I don't mean to trouble you Jesus, I just miss you, and I thought that you should know... Your daughter, friend, disciple
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